Thursday, November 23, 2006

Bloating: tryptophane, BND & TomKat

The American holiday season is upon us. My neighbors are bringing in their plants (we had a bit of a frost overnight) and putting up their Christmas decorations. This embodies one of the problems I have with the Christmas steamroller. Can't I enjoy Thanksgiving before you overachievers string your lights and hang your holly?

And of course, there's the inevitable feelings of depression and dissatisfaction that accompany the next thirty days. Not enough money or time to do what you want to do. I've decided the only way I'm going to survive this year is to take a cue from one of my favorite running gags on MadTV: Lowered Expectations. It's the only way I'll escape into the new year relatively unscathed. Expect nothing; then it can't possibly suck!

Canadian magazine Adbusters has created a holiday that I can finally really put my heart into: International Buy Nothing Day. I've been unofficially celebrating it for years, ever since my post college years of working in retail. Once I hung up my hat as a consumer concierge, I said goodbye to Black Friday. Now, my avoidance of the mall (and the dreaded "mall headache") has turned into a protest. Nifty!

Speaking of headaches and bloating, the entire TomKat thing is so hideous, but their recent wedding at an Italian castle looked gorgeous. Romance in spades. There's enough coverage on People's site to choke a horse.

While we're on the topic of celebrity marriages -- when are these people going to learn that a reality show in which both parties appear is a kiss of death? The short list: Jessica & Nick, Whitney & Bobby, Shannon Moakler & Travis Barker. It's only a matter of time before Danny Bonaduce and his long-suffering co-dependent spouse hit the skids. Maybe Mr. & Mrs. Cruise will actually learn something and stay out of the public eye altogether. It's the only way you can survive longer than your own press.

Dinner is at five. As I dine on the "traditional" Thanksgiving fare, I'll give a passing thought to the customs at hand, along with an article I found this morning: As American As Pumpkin Pie. It's a tidy little diatribe regarding the origins of Thanksgiving from the Plimouth Foundation; dispels commonly held myths regarding the holiday, which could pretty much be summed up as harmless propaganda to indoctrinate the teeming immigrants at the turn of the 20th century, along with impressionable schoolchildren. I like the distinction the author makes between the history of the holiday, and historic fact itself.

I give thanks for my health and the health of my family. I also give thanks for my daughter, who gives me new eyes.

Happy Turkey Day!


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