Hodge Podgery

I haven't written anything lately because I haven't been able to find one, single, interesting thing with which to hit the ground running. So last night, I jotted down a few things, and it turned into a sort of stream of consciousness kinda thing. And then I noticed that I hadn't published an entry for over seven days, and I thought, "Shit, I'm letting my blog die again."

So, for lack of anything better, here are some excerpts from my fractured brainpan.

I am trying to teach my 2-year-old daughter to be leader of the pack -- of our dogs. We've got two yappy canines: a Pomeranian and a Miniature Poodle. I have been struggling with my daughter because she doesn't put up much of a fight when the dogs jump on her to steal her food (she's a grazer, and doesn't like to sit in the high chair for very long). I keep telling her that she's the boss, and she's bigger, but it doesn't seem to register. As if to further my very point, last night I gave her the dog's treats, so that she could administer them herself, and my "rule" is to have the dogs sit before they get their treats. I'm saying, "sit" over and over again as the dogs bounce around -- because they see that the weak link has possession of their treats -- and what does my daughter do? She sits. I can't help but laugh. And of course the dogs don't sit. They just keep bouncing around. Dorks.

My daughter is sick. She has a cold, and a bit of a cough. Last night she slept better than she has in days, but she is still clinging to her sick personality, which consists of asking for cookies all day long and whining when she doesn't get them. It is getting very annoying, although I do like the fact that she wants to sit on my lap more often.

Convivial is a cool word to say, over and over again.

When I wrote that down, I remembered a scene from the movie Super Troopers, where one of the officers bets another officer that he can't say the word "meow" 10 times during a routine traffic stop. Which reminded me that I want to watch that movie again. Funny stuff.

And then I thought....how is it that I can find a movie like Super Troopers funny, but also laugh my ass off while watching The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? They are two very different types of comedy. I guess, if I'm hard-pressed, I would admit to liking the easy laugh a little more than the laugh that requires me to think.

I was clearing out old programs on my DVR this week. I watched several episodes of "So You Think You Can Dance" and I was struck by the fact that I know I can't dance, but I wish I could dance. Whenever I hear music with a good rhythm, I want to dance, and my body starts to move in that direction, but the results are comically pathetic. It's like I have the soul of a dancer, but the body of three year old (when it comes to dancing). I feel it inside of me, but it doesn't translate physically. It's so frustrating; I'll be forever relegated to my living room, behind closed drapes.

Drapes. Now there's another funny word.